


Yuri on Ice: On Love, Eros and Agape

by DemonRomantic



Category: yuri on ice
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Yaoi, Yuri POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-09-19 03:25:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9415958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonRomantic/pseuds/DemonRomantic
Summary: Victor and Yuri's relationship throughout the series and just what was going on off the ice. ;)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the characters or anime.  
> Also, I changed up a few things that happened or were said so that their love life happened earlier on than is implied in the series.  
> Hope you enjoy! :)

Yuri on Ice: On Love, Eros and Agape  
By DemonRomantic

Chapter 1: Slumber Party

I had always admired Victor, ever since the first time I’d seen him skate. He was… majestic. To think that someone as beautiful on the ice as him, would ever decide to be my coach was beyond me. How could I have inspired him just by copying his moves? Well, whatever his reasoning, he was here now, and it made me really happy. 

“Yuri! Let’s have a slumber party!” Victor cried, coming up to me in nothing more than his robe. 

“Huh?! W-what do you mean ‘slumber party’?” I couldn’t help but blush for some reason. I was still in shock from his mere presence.

He got right in my face, making me jump a little. He was so close… “What? Don’t tell me you’ve never had a slumber party before?”

“Well, not exactly. I mean… I was usually too busy with my skating to make many friends, so I never got invited to stuff like that…”

“Then it’s decided! You and I are going to have one this instant!”

Before I could argue, he had already moved his sleeping bag and pillow into my room. I managed to beat him there and remove all of the embarrassing posters of him from my walls before he had a chance to see them.

“So, this is your room Yuri? I like it. Seems like you could use a few posters or some such on the walls though, to add a little splash of color.”

“Yeah… So, are you sure you want to sleep in here? I mean my room is even smaller than your guest room.”

He got in my face again, I was beginning to feel like my personal space had completely disappeared, when he took my chin between his fingers and spoke low. “Of course. I told you already, didn’t I? I want to know you on a more intimate level Yuri, so what better way than sharing close quarters with one another?” 

A chill hit me violently, like whenever I fell on the ice. The sensation conflicted drastically with the burning in my cheeks. He was way too close! I gulped as he continued to cradle my chin in his palm. 

“T-there’s not much to tell… You asked what my hobbies were, and if there’s a girl I like. Skating has always been my passion, ever since I was a little kid, and as far as a girl… Well, I’ve never really noticed any.” 

He released my face, but his hand lingered in the air as he made a surprised face. “You mean you’re still a virgin?”

It felt as if an arrow had pierced me with the words ‘cherry-boy’ on it. Of course Victor would be curious about that, he probably had been with more women than I could count on both hands. Still, something about the way he said it made me feel defensive. 

“Like I said, I’ve never noticed any girls, so I’ve never been with one. I had a childhood friend who I got along with pretty well, but we’ve only ever been just friends and she’s married and has kids now. I feel like that’s the way to go, if you ask me. It’s better to wait and find the right person you want to be completely intimate with, than to just screw around with everybody just because you can.” 

I bit my tongue. I hadn’t meant to say it so harshly, but it slipped out. I looked at Victor, expecting him to be angry and tell me to mind my own business, but he was nodding his head in agreement.

“Yes, it is a good idea to wait for the person you want to be with… So, tell me Yuri, if you have no interest in women, then what about men?”

I imagined that my face had turned into a tomato, with how hard I was blushing. I couldn’t meet his eyes, and I stared at my clenched fists where they gripped at my knees.

“Could it be, that you are interested in me?” 

What?! How did he find out so quickly!?

“You know, if you don’t want somebody to see your personal belongings, then you should try concealing them better.” He said, pointing to a poster I had haphazardly shoved under my bed that showed him at his junior championships. 

I scrambled to shove it completely under my mattress even though the damage had already been done, and waved my hands frantically trying to explain. “I’ve had that since I was twelve, so it’s old you know? Besides, I admire you as a skater, and I find you very inspirational. So, why shouldn’t I have a poster or two of you lying around my old bedroom, huh?” 

“I knew it.” He said, huffing out a single chuckle. 

“Huh? Knew what?”

Victor smiled, taking both of my hands in his as if he meant to pull me up off of the ground. “I knew when I saw you skating to my routine, that you were in love. The flawless executions, the mirror-like movements… Only someone who takes complete pride in what they love would be able to pull something like that off. Watching you was like seeing the part of myself that I had forgotten; a part that I’ve been trying to find again. Yuri, I’m going to admit that my reason for being your coach is completely selfish. I’m doing it because I want to relive those moments, just as you have reproduced them. I want to feel the same love that you do now. That passionate love of your deepest desire.”

My heart felt like it was beating in my ears. His face had gotten closer to mine again, but this time his eyes’ were half-lidded. I froze as he brought his lips down on mine. I had never kissed anyone before, and to have Victor be my first was enough to make me lose control. I moaned softly, partly from shock and partly from the sweet sensation of his soft lips against my chapped ones. He pulled away and smiled apologetically. 

“Forgive me. That was rude.” His voice had lowered to a whisper. “You didn’t answer me, though. Are you interested in me, Yuri?” 

My head was swimming with a flurry of unfamiliar sensations and thoughts as I struggled to remember how to speak. “I… uh… I’ve always thought that you were amazing, that’s true.”

Victor smirked, getting to his feet, and dropping my hands. “Perhaps I’m being a little too forward, yeah? I’ll go to sleep in my room tonight, and we can start training in the morning to work off that piggy belly of yours. There is still plenty of time to get to know one another.” He turned back to me before shutting the door behind him, and winked. “Sleep tight, Yuri.”

I went to bed, completely in shock with my heart pounding, and I realized that the reason was because I was unbelievably happy.

Chapter 2: Eros

Having Victor be my coach, turned out to be more trouble than I bargained for. His training exercises were unrelenting and vigorous. Every night he would taunt me further by eating my mom’s home-made pork cutlet bowls, forbidding me to eat them, and telling me I couldn’t get back on the ice until I lost weight. Soon my admiration for him began to turn into a vendetta. I was going to show him that I didn’t need him to wave food in front of my face to get me to push myself. I would spend every waking hour working to reach my goal, and show him that I was serious about doing my best. I was going to prove how much it meant to me that he was now my coach. 

After a week of nearly killing myself with exercises, I had managed to get back down to my weight before the grand prix final. Overjoyed that I could now finally start my actual training with Victor, I ran all the way to the rink, but was surprised to find Yuri Plisetsky there. Apparently Victor had already promised the other Yuri that he was going to choreograph his short program, and he wasn’t about to let Victor go back on his promise, but that meant that he’d be going back to Russia. My heart sank, until Victor proposed a compromise.

“Okay, I’ve got it. I’m going to choreograph a program for each of you to the same music. This piece has two different arrangements and I’ve been trying to decide which one to use. I’ll design two programs using different portions of the same song. The programs will be revealed in one week and the two of you will compete to see who can surprise the audience more!” 

At first I was down on myself, thinking that Yurio (as was his new nickname) would be a better protégé than me for Victor. I didn’t have the same level of confidence as him, and I was sure that Victor would be happier teaching someone who actually believed enough in himself as Yurio. I wasn’t going to give up though, I had to try… I couldn’t wuss out now, first I was going to be the hot springs champion and then I’d set my sights on the grand prix final.

Victor started by playing the music we would be skating to; ‘On love: Eros and Agape’. I already felt like I could manage a program to Agape, but of course Victor had to pull the rug out from beneath us and assigned Yurio to Agape and me to Eros. How did he expect us to skate to songs so different from our personalities? I had no clue about what sexual love was to me, how could I make my program believable? Still, I wanted to continue to have Victor as my coach, so I would give it all that I had.

And then I saw the program.

Dear god! I couldn’t skate like that! I thought that I would get pregnant just from watching Victor! 

“You’ve shown that you have the skill to win, so why can’t you?” Victor asked.

“Probably, cause I don’t have a whole lot of confidence.”

“That’s right. What I want to do is help you find that confidence and embrace it.” I was startled when he pressed his thumb up against my lip, cradling my chin in his fingers. His face was close enough to kiss me. He whispered so that only I could hear. “Unleash the Eros within you. Maybe no one’s seen it before, but I know it’s there smoldering deep down inside you, waiting for its chance to come out. Can you show it to me? Can you do that?” 

I felt like he was going to strip me down right there on the spot, before Yurio shouted at us.

“You’re supposed to be training me! Not chatting with the piggy!”

Victor released me, somewhat reluctantly and called back. “Yeah!” He then turned back to me, but had moved away to a more appropriate talking distance, going back into his coach mode. “Well anyway, while you’re training I also expect you to be thinking. I want to know what Eros is to you.”

Yeah. Sure. No problem… God help me…

Talking with Misikori didn’t help one bit. I only ended up feeling more inexperienced. Dammit! I was a man and 23, I should have been able to project some semblance of sexuality! It was no use, I was nowhere near close to figuring out what Eros was. Having Victor eating pork cutlet in front of me again wasn’t helping me focus. Eros, Eros, something that makes you lose the ability to make rational decisions. What did that to me? What tempted me to act against my better judgement. What!? Damn, I couldn’t think with the smell of that-!

“Pork cutlet bowls! That’s it, that’s what Eros is to me!” I blurted.

Victor and Yurio looked at me like I was an absolute dumb ass.

“Oh god, I’m an idiot. I take it back!”

Victor only chuckled lightly. “It’s okay, we can go with that. It’s unique at least.”

Yurio glanced up at me with a mixture of amusement and disbelief. “Seriously?”

Pork cutlet bowls?! Did I actually say that? I was going to go crawl under a rock and die!

All the training Yurio and I did seemed to be redundant. We put all we had into it, but we were both still having trouble with the meaning of our pieces’. Two days before our competition, Victor had us doing meditation beneath a waterfall, something that seemed a bit over the top even for him. 

“I’m going to kill him.” Yurio said. 

“Why am I here too?” I complained. So far my training hadn’t been as intense as Yurio’s and I was so fed up with not being able to land my quad Salchow that it was making me temperamental. 

“This is so stupid! I mean who believes in unconditional love anyway?” Yurio shivered.

I wondered if that was the key to his confidence. Being able to block out those emotions and just focus on doing what he had to in order to win? Or was it that he really didn’t know what it meant to love someone unconditionally? I was so busy wondering what was going on inside his head, that I failed to notice how pale and spacey he looked. 

“Hey, Yurio! Are you alright?” I said, taking him by the wrist to snap him out of it. He looked up at me as if he had forgotten where he was. I had never seen him look so vulnerable. “Why don’t we call it a day?” 

The next morning at practice, Victor had yet to show up and it was just me and Yurio. I had been thinking about my Salchow all night and I knew that he could do it, so I decided to ask him to teach me before Victor arrived. When he did show up, his hair was a mess and he looked as if he had just woken up. 

“Sorry I’m late. Hey, what were you practicing just now?”

Neither of us answered, instead I exited the rink so that Yurio could show Victor his progress. Since the waterfall, something had changed about his movements, he seemed to have a grasp of his Agape. Victor couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

“Looks like Yurio finally found his Agape. Maybe he’s ready for the next stage now.” Victor mused.

Huh? The next stage? Would I get a next stage too after I performed the Eros of the pork cutlet bowl? Except I was missing something. The core…

Victor had his costumes flown over especially for the event, letting us pick our own from his collection. I was like a kid in a candy store, drooling over all of the outfits and remembering every event they went with, when I found his junior championship costume. Holding it in my hands made me feel like I was holding gold. I chose that one, the one Victor had been wearing when I realized that I liked him not just as skater. 

That night I went to Minako’s place to get some advice.

“You gotta be kidding me. Ugh, you do know what time it is right? You want to practice now?”

“Sorry it’s so late, but I really need your help with something.” 

“Well, what is it, huh?”

“I want you to teach me how to move like a woman!”

“Say what?”

“I can’t be the playboy in the story of my piece. It’s not me. I have to be the beautiful woman who seduces the playboy. I won’t change any of the moves, I’ll just change the way I move. I think that would be a better expression of what I really feel.” 

“Alright, if you say so.”

I had been thinking it over in my head since I’d seen Yurio express his Agape. I needed something more solid that a pork cutlet bowl. I needed to show Victor my true Eros, and that was how I felt about him…

The competition would have Yurio skate first and then me. His performance was breathtaking and I had no doubt that he would rank first amongst the senior division skaters, but then that meant… Oh god, if he won this, then Victor would go back to Russia! I couldn’t let that happen. I had to win… My vision began to go dark all of a sudden from the stress of thinking about losing and I thought that I would collapse before Victor stood before me and spoke.

“Yuri, are you ready? You’re up.” 

I gasped and clasped both hands over my mouth. I hadn’t realized that it was my turn and it felt like I was going to throw-up. Victor looked at me with calm, reassuring eyes and I suddenly felt overcome with determination. 

“Yes, I’m ready. I’m going to skate with everything I have out there today. I’ll be the tastiest pork cutlet bowl ever.” Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace, my nerves already returning. “You’ll watch won’t you?”

“Of course, I love pork cutlet bowls.”

I blushed. The way he said that with an underlying meaning, gave me enough strength to go out on the ice and perform for the audience, but especially him. I knew now who I was dancing for. I flashed him a smile in my intro that was returned by a low whistle of approval, and then I let Yuri Katsuki melt away and my inner Eros out.

“Yuri! I don’t think I have ever seen a tastier, more inspiring pork cutlet bowl!” Victor said, throwing his arms around me once I’d finished the program. 

“R-really? That means a lot.” 

After berating me for my screw-ups, we both took our places on the podium, but Yurio was nowhere to be found. I felt just a little sorry for him, but I was too happy that I had won to be upset. The announcer congratulated me on my performance and then asked me if I had any words for the audience. My mind went blank and I stammered before Victor placed his arm around me and squeezed my arm comfortingly. 

“This was the beginning. With Victor, I hope to win the grand prix final. Thank you all for your continued support!”

With the crowd cheering, and Victor by my side, for the first time in my life, I actually felt the conviction in my words. 

Later that night, there were smiles all around the table as we drank in celebration. I was sad that I hadn’t gotten the chance to properly thank Yurio for his help on my Salchow, but he had already packed and left by the time Victor and I arrived back at the house. Victor was too busy drinking to notice right away.

“Yuri, you were amazing! I think I should reward you for that massive improvement on your program. What would you like, huh? Maybe another kiss?” Victor said, already getting buzzed off sake.

I stiffened, glancing around at the faces at the table who had all turned a questioning gaze on us. 

“Huh? Another kiss? What exactly have you two been up to?” Mari said, swishing her glass. 

“Wha-! Nothing!” 

Victor’s arms snaked around me from behind and he rubbed his cheek against the side of my face like a cat. “Oh come on, Yuri, don’t be shy. I know why you did so good in your program, you can’t fool me.” 

He winked and placed a finger up to his lips as if he was hiding a secret. I blushed uncontrollably and bolted to my feet bowing to everyone at the table. “Well, thank you all so much for cheering me on. You’re all very kind, but I’m feeling pretty tired now, so I think I’ll call it a night.” 

I then booked it down to my bedroom and closed the door without remembering to lock it. Sheesh, that was close. How could Victor be so careless when he drank, he hadn’t even had that much. I flopped down on my bed, too exhausted to bother changing into my pajamas, and chucked my clothes on the floor before wriggling beneath my covers in nothing but my boxers. It wasn’t long after I had drifted off to sleep that I felt really warm. I opened my eyes groggily to find Victor snuggled up beside me. It felt as if my entire body had turned to stone.

“V-Victor!” I shouted, waking him up. 

“Huh? What is it, you have a bad dream?” He said, still half asleep.

“What are you doing in my bed?!” 

“I thought I would come and say good night to you, but you were already asleep, so I decided to wait until it was morning so that I could say good morning instead.” 

“You could have just slept in your bed!” His top half was bare, but I noticed that his robe and boxers were laying on the floor next to my clothes. Oh my god, is he… “Are you wearing anything under there?”

“No, I always sleep naked. It gets too hot at night.” He had now sat up and taken my face in his hand again, which didn’t help with the ‘heat’ at all. “Does it bother you?”

“N-not exactly, but I think you should probably sleep in your own bed or people might talk.”

He smirked, lowering his eyes. “Let them talk…”

Before I could protest any further, he had his mouth pressed against mine in a deep kiss. His tongue gaining entrance into my mouth before he withdrew it and nipped at my bottom lip. My head swam as all the blood in my body rushed to my face and he let out a low hum of contentment. 

“The way you showed off your Eros to everyone, it made me jealous. I couldn’t take my eyes off you, Yuri. It made me want you, and I still want you now.” His lips came down on my neck, and I felt my skin crawl with pleasure. 

“Wait, Victor. I- I’ve never done anything like this before. I’m afraid I don’t know what to do.”

“Neither do I.” 

“Say what?”

He stopped kissing my neck and brought his gaze up to meet mine. His face was flushed. “I haven’t been with anyone, either. There have been plenty of fans who’ve thrown themselves at me, but I was never interested in them. I’m like you, Yuri. I’ve always been too busy with my skating to care about anything else. Until now.”

I could hear my heart beating in my ears. “You mean that this is your first time too?” 

Victor nodded. 

I couldn’t believe it. Here I had imagined him as a sex god, and he was just as much a virgin as me. How was he able to project so much sex appeal? Was it just because that’s how I saw him? His voice breathed in my ear, sending another wave of shivers down my spine. 

“Yuri, you’ve shown me your Eros. Now allow me to show you mine.” He whispered.

In response to this, I wrapped both of my arms around him and nuzzled my face into his shoulder with a nod. 

“I want you to tell me if you don’t like what I’m doing and I’ll stop. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” 

“O-okay…”

The night was still around us as he traced my body with his fingers and lips. I held onto the back of his hair with my fist and gasped every time he brought his mouth down on my skin. With my free hand, I propped myself up on the bed, but soon grew tired and allowed myself to sink into the mattress with Victor following me down. I tried to deepen our kisses every time our mouths met and soon I could feel his erection rubbing up against mine. His mouth broke away with a small gasp and he brought both hands down on my hips and slowly removed my boxers, releasing my fully engorged member. For a moment, he just stared at it, making me feel embarrassed and shy, but then he began stroking me softly with his hand causing my gasps to turn to moans. His other hand took a hold of mine.

“Yuri, touch me too.” He said.

I did as he asked and brought my free hand down over his penis, my other one still holding onto his hand. I soon had him murmuring my name, to my satisfaction and began calling out for him as well. 

“Victor… I feel like I’m close to the edge…” I said in between breaths. 

He abruptly stopped and brought both of his hands up to cradle my face as he kissed me. I took hold of his hips and pulled them towards mine, beckoningly. 

“How do you want to do it?” He asked.

I stared at him blankly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, do you want to be up to bat or would you prefer catcher? From your dance, I would say you were trying to get me on top of you.” He purred.

“Oh, uh…” I hadn’t thought about that one. “If you want to do it that way, I’m okay with it…” 

“Good.” He added softer. “I’ll try my best to be gentle.” 

He sat back on his knees and licked his hand in a way that made me envision he was trying to get the last bits of a melted ice cream from his fingers. I tried my best to relax but I couldn’t watching him do that. 

“Victor. Let me.” I said, repositioning so my mouth had better access. 

I brought my lips down over his shaft and slowly took him into my mouth, being careful not to bite anything important. He began pumping himself into my mouth as I sucked, and I tried not to gag as he did it, but ended up coughing when he hit the back of my throat. He pulled out immediately and placed his hands on my shoulders.

“Yuri, are you alright? Did I hurt you?” His expression looked so panicked, that I couldn’t help myself from laughing lightly.

“No, I’m fine. Don’t stop now.” 

“Are you sure?”

I laid back down on the bed and spread my legs, trying to make as sexy a face as I could pull off. “I’m positive.”

Victor gulped before hovering back over me and positioning himself so that our bodies were lined up perfectly against one another, and then he pressed himself into me slowly. The pressure was strange at first, but I relaxed myself to allow him to move. He grew more emboldened as I moaned and exhaled heavily. Soon he didn’t hold back at all and it felt like I was being set on fire. It didn’t take long before I couldn’t hold back my voice at all and I yelled as I came, with him following after, collapsing on top of me in a heap of hot breaths. 

“Yuri…” He breathed out.

“Victor?” 

Before I could ask him what he wanted to say, I realized that he had passed out on top of me in a position that made it difficult for me to breathe. I forced him off so that he was laying beside me instead and studied his sleeping face a moment before I heard scratching on my door and nearly jumped out of my skin. I realized, after my initial shock, that it was only Victor’s dog, Maka. Getting out of bed, I slipped back on my boxers and threw my t-shirt back on as well before opening the door to let Maka-Chan in. He immediately climbed into my bed beside Victor, who habitually put his arm over his beloved dog. Looked like I’d be having two guests tonight.


	2. The First Date

Chapter 3: The first date

The morning after was like nothing had changed between us. Like I had dreamt it all up. I was late to practice, but Victor didn’t get angry, he just smiled and got started; already going back into his coach mode. It made me wonder if he was trying to avoid any talk about what had happened the night before. I tried not to let it bother me, and focused on my skating, but then Victor wanted me to pick the music for my free program; something I wasn’t used to. It wasn’t so much that I couldn’t pick a song, as it was the theme I wanted to portray. My previous coaches had all picked my music for me and I would skate the way they had me do it, but the free program was supposed to convey the skater and not their coach. 

I wasn’t anything spectacular like Victor or any of the other figure skaters I knew. My life was completely ordinary and bland, not something people cared to watch portrayed on the ice. Still, I had to pick something, I couldn’t let Victor or anyone else down, but what was a good theme? I didn’t want Victor to see my short comings, so I began to avoid him until one morning I didn’t go to practice and just stayed in bed letting the guilt of not being able to decide eat away at me. I was completely startled when Victor threw open my door and gave me a dark look. Half expecting him to scold me, I was surprised when he said we’d be skipping practice for the day and going down to the beach instead. 

The walk did help me clear my head a bit, but I was still feeling tormented by the thought of my free program, and of Victor’s feelings towards me. I wasn’t completely sure if he wanted me the same way I did him. Sure, we’d had sex, but that didn’t mean he loved me. Even if that had been his first time too, he could have just chosen me because I was easy to be around. I was pretty sure that we were friends, but lovers? What was love anyway? Maybe Yurio was right, and it didn’t really exist. Only, he had shown it so well… Victor’s voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Ah, seagulls…” he said.

I looked up at the birds from where we sat. “Black-tailed gulls.” I said.

“I love the sound they make. Whenever I hear their calls in the morning, it makes me think that I’m back in St. Petersburg. I never thought I would leave the city, so I never took the time to appreciate the seagulls’ cries. Now I find them strangely comforting… Have you ever felt like that before?” He mused.

It made sense that Victor would be missing Russia, longing for the comforts of home. It made me think about the time I had spent in Detroit away from my family, and how I had missed them, but never once did I feel like I needed them there with me. Is that what Victor saw me as? Somebody who needed to be comforted?

“Back in Detroit, there was this girl who was really pushy. Always talking to me and asking how I was doing. Then one day a rink mate had an accident and I was really worried. That girl was in the hospital waiting room with me and she tried to give me a hug, you know, to comfort me. I just reflexively shoved her away.”

“Wow, why would you do that?”

“It felt like she was trying to say I was weak or something. She was intruding on me, when she didn’t have any right to, and I hated it. That made me think about everyone back home. They never treated me like a weakling; someone who needed his hand held. They had faith that I would continue to grow, and they let me do it. Helping me without ever making me feel weak.”

Victor glanced at me briefly and then out at the waves. “You aren’t a weak person, Yuri. Nobody who knows you would ever think that.”

His words were honest, but I still felt uncertain.

“Will you tell me? What is it you want me to be to you? A father figure, a brother, or just your friend?”

I thought about it for a moment before answering. “No.”

“So, then your lover? I will try my best.” He smirked.

“All I want is for you to be who you are.” I said, standing.

He turned to look at me with a serious expression, and I swallowed.

“I look up to you, I always have. I was afraid to let you see my short comings, I guess that’s why I’ve been avoiding you. I’ll make it up to you by skating my best.” 

He smiled at me then, and offered me his hand. “You have a deal, but I won’t let you off easy. That’s my way of showing my love...”  
When I opened-up… he met me half way. I think maybe I had to open-up more…

He got to his feet, still holding onto my hand. “Yuri, if I asked you out on a date, would you say yes?” 

I reflexively blushed, but nodded my head once. He returned the gesture with a grin.

“Great, why don’t we go to your favorite restaurant?” 

“Okay.”

There weren’t many people at the restaurant, and it wasn’t a fancy place, so it just looked like the two of us were friends out for a bite to eat, but I still felt awkward as if all eyes were on us. 

“Hey, aren’t you Victor Nikiforov, the figure skater?” Our waiter asked as he came to fill our drinks.

“Yes, pleased to meet you.” Victor said with a smile. 

“I thought so, hey do you think I could get an autograph?”

“I don’t see why not.”

While Victor was busy signing something for the waiter, the other patrons’ attention had begun to drift towards our table, making me feel a bit uncomfortable. I wasn’t used to the attention that Victor got, even from the locals, so having reporters and fans following him around was new to me. Victor seemed to sense this, because after he signed the autograph, he asked the waiter to move us to a more private table.

“You didn’t have to do that, really.” I said, playing with my food.

“I could tell that it was making you upset. As I’ve said before, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, Yuri.”

I set down my fork and looked down at my food with a frown. “Victor, about that… what do you want me to be to you exactly?”

“Huh?”

“You asked what I wanted you to be, and I told you that I just want you to be yourself, but what do you want from me? I know I’m not as god-like as you, and I’m not even the most likeable of people, so why would you want somebody like me? Why would you agree to be my coach at all-?”

I was cut-off by his hand on mine, grasping tightly before lacing his fingers with mine. My face grew red, and I couldn’t help but glance around to see if anyone noticed. He took hold of my chin and directed my attention back to him. 

“Yuri, I’ve already told you several times, haven’t I? I decided to be your coach because I could see your love out there on the ice. The way you move as if the music is speaking through you, and how hard you try even though you fail. You always manage to pick yourself up again, no matter how hard you fall. I find it incredibly inspiring and sexy. I knew that I could show you just how much potential you have in you, that is why I came for you, Yuri. I’m not leaving your side.” 

“Victor…”

I knew now what I wanted my theme to be. I emailed my friend from Detroit, asking her to compose another piece for me, and was overjoyed when she did. As soon as I got it from her, I played it for Victor and he nodded in agreement. Our next practice he asked me if I had finally changed my theme and I nodded.

“I’ve decided… the piece’s theme is on my love.”

There was a moment of stunned silence before Victor smiled at me and spoke. 

“I think that’s a perfect choice, well done.”

I couldn’t help but smile.

I had thought that I was fighting all by myself, but then Victor came and I didn’t feel that way anymore. I didn’t know how long he would stay with me, but while he was there, I wanted to make the most of the time we had together.


	3. Chapter 4: Compassion and Tenderness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to gift this chapter to Versai-Vex. Thanks for reading! I'm glad you like it! :)

Chapter 4: Compassion and Tenderness  
Nervous was beginning to feel like my slogan. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I honestly don’t. Despite having Victor to coach me and being on my way to the Grand Prix, I was still nervous and wound up trying to over-compensate again, resulting in Victor telling me to lower my jump difficulties. I was so upset about it that I started to plot against him in my head, because I knew that I could do better even if he didn’t…

“Yuri, do you want to talk about how we’re going to alter your program?”

‘You mean how you want to alter it…’ I thought as we soaked in the hot spring that night. I had my face hidden low in the water as I brooded, but he could tell something was wrong. 

“You know, I may be your coach, but I would rather work together on this than be at each other’s throats. In my experience it doesn’t improve one’s relationships to constantly bicker over the small things, so what is it that you want to say?” 

I sighed, turning away from him. “I just don’t see why I should have to lower my jump difficulty. I thought that the whole point of having you coach me was so that I could improve, not hold myself back.”

“Yuri, I am trying to help you improve, but I can’t do that if you won’t work with me.”

“What about all the times you didn’t listen to your coaches’? I’m sure that pissed them off quite a bit. Are you just trying to get me to rebel against you, too, is that it?” 

I heard a splash behind me as he exited the pool and turned to see him already toweling off and putting on his robe. He spoke with his back towards me. “Yes and no. Yes, I want you to improve, that’s why I’m here, but I don’t want you to assume that the path to victory lies in always pushing yourself. It is what I admire about you, Yuri, but that is also your biggest flaw. You focus too much on what you think you need to be doing instead of taking a step back to look at where you are. There is no shame in it. You are constantly putting me on a pedestal and saying that I’m a god, but that’s far from the truth. I’m not perfect, Yuri. I pushed myself and disobeyed my coaches’ because I had confidence I could do it. What you have is not confidence but determination. Now all you need is patience. So, tomorrow, we’ll lower your difficulty to one quad instead of three. If you can do that, then we can work on adding more in. Sweet dreams, Yuri.”

He walked off without another word, leaving me there in the steam. 

The next morning was quiet between us until we got to the rink. I didn’t feel like arguing with him, at least not out-loud. Minami shot me an invigorated smile, but I didn’t share his enthusiasm right now, I was too caught up in how to make myself catch up for the Grand Prix. I went out for the warm-up skate and was caught off guard exiting, when Victor spoke to me for the first time that morning. 

“Yuri, if you don’t have the strength to motivate someone who looks up to you, then how can you find the strength to motivate yourself?” He slammed my blade-guards down on the barrier with frustration before stalking off. “I’m disappointed in you, Yuri.”

‘Can we talk about what you just did to my motivation for a second?!’ The announcer called out Minami, and I thought about what he had said to me the day before. 

“An amazing skater like you doesn’t have a shameful past! When you make fun of yourself, you’re also making fun of me for looking up to you all of this time!” 

Looking at him now, all nervous and jittery, he reminded me of someone… I sighed and called out to him as he entered the middle of the rink. “Hey, Minami, good luck!” 

He looked up at me with surprised delight, and I felt something perk me up a bit.

“Good luck!” I called again. 

Minami smiled and launched into his program with that same exuberance I had come to recognize in him, and although he had some inconsistencies, I could tell that he was going to become a serious competitor in the long run. I warmed up as the other skaters went, until it was finally my turn. Walking back into the rink-side, I passed Minami and gave him a singular pat on the back, but my nerves were heightened and I accidentally wound up slapping him a little too hard. Victor was waiting for me, to my surprise. I handed my jacket to him as he spoke to me.

“Good, I think that this costume was the right choice. You look absolutely stunning in it.” 

I didn’t look at him, but I did notice that he had gone out of coach mode and into… lover mode? He was staring at my mouth. 

“Oh, your lips are a little chapped…” 

He pulled out a jar that was much too large to be chap stick, and upon reading the side I saw that it was Vaseline. I vaguely recalled mentioning that it would be nice to get some lube before we tried sleeping together again, and a small jolt ran through me as he spread the petroleum jelly on my lips for me. After recapping the jar, he pulled me into a small embrace that I returned after a brief pause. I felt like a jerk for what I was about to do, but I knew that I could pull it off. 

Victor was right though in the end. I was determined. I may have flopped my jumps and ended up with my face slammed into the side of the rink in a painful bloody nose, but I did place first. The pride wore off as quickly as it came when I saw Victor looking angrily at me from the sidelines. I knew that I was in for a royal chewing-out. And then he stuck out his arms to me, waiting for me to come hug him. I was so relieved that he wasn’t that mad at me, that I bolted over to him.

“Victor!”

Before I could wrap my arms around him though, he sidestepped and I went sprawling, aggravating my already injured face. 

“Watch the nosebleed.” Victor grinned. I could tell by the chuckle in his voice that this was my pay back for going against him. 

“Oww…” I groaned, pulling myself off the floor with Victor’s help.

“That looks painful, here…” He pulled out some tissues from his Makachin look-a-like Kleenex box and dabbed at my bleeding nostrils. “I hope you didn’t knock out any of your teeth. It would be a shame to ruin that pretty smile of yours.” 

“Maybe I should have gone into Hockey instead?” I grinned, showing him that all of my teeth were still firmly rooted.

He smiled, pulling the soiled tissues away and replacing them with rolled up ones which he stuffed up my nose. “No, you are far too graceful to ruin your face with a sport like that.”

“I’m sorry for not listening to you, Victor… I just felt like I needed to take that leap, even if I did land on my face. I guess I literally did, huh?” 

He burst into a belly laugh, and wiped away tears from the corner of his eye. “Serves you right for not obeying your coach. You got off easy. If you had done that to Yaakov, he would have bitten your head off.”

“Does this mean you forgive me for being an asshole?”

He placed a finger to his lips and winked one eye at me with a smirk. “Hmm. I don’t know about that, I might have to punish you still…” 

I swallowed hard; tasting blood in the back of my throat.

It hadn’t been that long since that first night, but kissing Victor again felt almost nostalgic. My body immediately relaxed in his arms, and I could feel all of the tension leaving my aching muscles. It almost felt like I was drifting in a warm pond. He removed the Vaseline from his coat before shucking it off and throwing it into the corner of my room. Next were my clothes; I had already changed out of my program costume and the loose sweats I wore were easy enough to remove, but I had to struggle to get Victor out of his tight suit. He had me sit up along with him so that I was in his lap with our erections pressed together between our bodies. Withdrawing a swab of the greasy lubricant, he rubbed it between his palms before stroking the both of us simultaneously.   
I busied myself with his neck and collarbone, practicing different nibbles and pecks along the grooves and hollows. He crooned when I kissed him just behind his ear, and I tried licking him there just to see what he would do. A moan escaped his lips, before he hoisted me up and got ready to seat me back down on him. I was happy to be finding the right buttons to push. In this position, it felt like he was farther inside me, letting gravity do the work. I could feel my insides being tickled mercilessly by his thrusts, and it wasn’t long before my voice came out as if I were talking into a fan. 

“V-Victor! Mm-mm! GAH!” I shouted, something hot soaking my insides. 

“Yuri.” He breathed. His hands moved up from my hips and found a hold on either side of my face before he pulled my lips down to his. The kiss was soft, and tender. I blinked in surprise before he pulled away to look me in the eyes. “I think I’m in love with you.” 

I could feel my heart do a flip-flop inside my chest. “What did you just say?”

He let one hand fall to grab ahold of mine, and placed our clasped hands between our hearts. With the other hand, he used his thumb to stroke the side of my cheek. “I love you, Yuri. I want us to be together, not just as lovers, but as a couple… Will you be my boyfriend, Yuri?” 

I didn’t know what to say. My initial shock wore off as I focused on Victor’s gentle blue eyes that kept saying his words over and over again. I used the hand he grasped to pull his up to my lips and placed a single, soft kiss on the back of his hand. “Yes, Victor… I will.” 

At the board meeting to discuss the themes for the upcoming events, I could feel the ever-present heat in my face that had been there since Victor had asked me to be his boyfriend. I’d already picked out my theme before-hand, deciding to go with one that would match my music for my programs, but now I had a solid vision of what it meant. The emcee asked me to share my theme, and I took a deep breath before turning my card to the audience. They all gasped and spoke in hushed whispers as they read the word, ‘Love’, written across my theme chart. 

“I struggled to find a theme for this Grand Prix. It was hard, but in the end I chose love. There have been so many people who have helped me in my competitive skating career, yet somehow, I never thought of it as love until now. I was lucky to have people supporting me, but I had a hard time accepting that support. So, I always felt like I was fighting alone, but since Victor came into my life and started being my coach, I’ve started seeing things differently. This love, isn’t something as clear cut as romantic love. It’s more of an abstract feeling that encompasses my feelings for Victor, my family, and my home town. It took a long time, but I finally realized that I’m surrounded by love every day. For the first time, there’s somebody that I want to hold on to. That person is Victor. I don’t really have a name for that emotion, but I’ve decided to call it love. It’s changed me. I’m stronger now, and I’ll prove it at the Grand Prix final with a gold medal!”


	4. Chapter 5: Seduce Me

Chapter 5: Seduce Me  
Watching Phichit perform helped me realize some things. The people who wanted to see Victor skate, wouldn’t be satisfied with my skating, and the people who cheered me on wouldn’t be satisfied with the old me… If they were all going to hate me as the man who took Victor from the world of skating, I was going to show them all that I deserved him. I had to make sure that my performance showed not only my devotion to skating, but my devotion to him. This time I had to show everyone why Victor had chosen me as his pupil… and as his lover.  
Victor took my hand as I clenched my fist on the rink-guard and spoke to me with soft words. “The time to seduce me picturing pork-cutlet bowls is over. At this point you can do that just by being yourself… You’ve figured that out by now, haven’t you?”  
He moved his thumb and fore-finger in small circles against the back of my clenched fist and in a flash I laced my fingers with his. This time I was going to show him the full force of my Eros. I placed my forehead against his, looking straight into his eyes.  
“Watch me, Victor. Don’t take your eyes off me.”

As soon as the music started, I flashed a smirk of intention at Victor and saw as a small shudder went through his shoulders. I wouldn’t be the joke anymore, I would show everyone just what I could do. I’d show them all that I could satisfy him just as much as he could me. Nobody else could satisfy Victor, only me. Nobody else knew Victor’s love, I was the only one… Today, that’s what I was skating to prove.  
By the end of my program, I felt the satisfaction of knowing that I had done my best, but for some reason I felt a detached numbness. It was almost as if my performance had all been an act. I knew that it was a true reflection of my feelings and relationship with Victor, but something about it felt like a lie. Victor hugged me as we sat in the kiss-n-cry and waited for my score. He had a proud smile on his face.  
“You did well. How did it feel when you were out there?”  
I didn’t look at him directly, I was still trying to figure out what it was that didn’t connect. “Good. But mostly I was hoping that everyone else felt good watching me.”  
As the scores came up I had to squint at the board, because I could have sworn that it said I was in first place, but that of course couldn’t be right. Victor threw his arms around me and ruffled my hair.  
“Of course, everyone felt good watching you! How could they not, you were incredible today! I couldn’t ask for a better student.”  
I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, with a slight blush. I was happy that I had made him so proud, but the nagging in my chest wouldn’t go away. I decided to focus on the other skaters and watched on the lobby T.V. with Guang-Hong and Phichit as Georgi, Leo, and Chris all did their programs. While Chris was in the middle of his combination spin, Victor came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. Having him hold me like that was nice, but I was kind of embarrassed that he had decided to do it in front of everyone.  
“Chris said he was having a hard time getting motivated. He’s a solid skater though, and never goes into a major slump. He doesn’t like to peak at the first event so he starts slowly, but I will say he doesn’t seem to hold anything back when it comes to sex appeal.” Victor commented as we watched.  
A small twinge of jealousy sparked at his words and I furrowed my brow as I continued to watch Chris’ performance. My face fell as he finished, and I had no doubt that he would bump me out of my first-place ranking with his superior display of sexuality that blew my novice Eros out of the water.  
“Well, I guess Chris wins in the Eros department today.” 

Victor patted my shoulder affectionately while they posted Chris’ score. He ranked 5th.  
“Huh? So, does that mean I’m…”  
Phichit came up to me and placed his hand on my shoulder, Victor having stepped back as he’d turned his attention toward me.  
“I’m going to do my best to pass you in my free program. Look out.” Phichit said, giving me a competitive smile.  
I nodded at him, giving him the same look. We had always supported each other and cheered the other on while striving to do our best, and I was glad that he had ranked in fourth so that we could still compete with one another. This gave me the determination to look into the camera and tell everyone that I was going to win.  
“I-I’ll win with my coach, Victor! The power of love is on our side!”

Getting back to the hotel, I felt full of energy. I had just proved myself and was about to take on my free program with full confidence. I wanted to keep skating for Victor and show him just how much I loved him. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, unlacing his shoes. I watched him as he slid each one off and placed them together next to the nightstand separating our beds. He then undid the buttons on his jacket and removed his pass and tie, tossing them all to the end of his blanket and loosening his collar. I don’t know what made him look so sexy doing it, they were just everyday actions and movements, but something about the way he was getting relaxed turned me on and I found myself moving towards him.  
“Yuri?” He blinked as I placed either of my hands on his cheeks and pressed my lips against his.  
Breaking away, I looked at him with half lidded eyes. “Victor, today, that was all for you. I wanted to show you just how much you mean to me by giving my all in my program. Placing first is better than I could have ever imagined, but the only thing that matters to me now is how you feel about me.”  
He looked at me with a surprised face that quickly melted into a loving smile, bringing up his hand to caress my cheek. “Yuri, I told you already. You were incredible, and I’m very lucky to be your coach. Watching you grow has been the most fulfilling thing for me since I left the ice. I truly mean that, from the bottom of my heart.”  
Overwhelming happiness flooded through me and I launched myself at him in a tight hug that sent him backwards onto the mattress. I laid there on top of him for a moment just holding onto his waist, before he brought his hand up to twirl his fingers in my hair. Looking up at him I saw that he had shut his eyes in contentment and was quietly humming. That face…  
“Victor.” I said.  
“Hmm, what is it Yuri?”  
“Tonight, I want to try it.”  
“Huh?”  
I gulped, bringing myself up so that I hovered above him with my eyes looking directly into his. “I want to make you feel as good as you claim you did watching me today.”  
A shudder rippled across his frame before an unmistakable blush colored his cheeks bright red. He gave me a sultry look before nodding once.  
I quickly undid the rest of the buttons on his shirt before moving to the one on his pants. Pausing to kiss his chest after undoing his zipper, I began removing my own clothes while he sat up and removed his shirt the rest of the way. Our bare chests pressed up against one another as we shared a plethora of kisses and I found myself grinding up against him. He whimpered against my lips as the blood rushed to his nether-regions and I briskly helped him shimmy out of his pants and boxers. Using my hand, I took hold of him and gently pulled up and down in an agonizingly slow pattern that made him leak out onto my fingers.  
“Yuri, you bully, I’m going to cum before you if you keep that up.” He huffed out between panty breathes.  
“Sorry.” I said, removing my hand.  
I slid backward off the bed and undid my pants while Victor watched me. Shucking them off, I got ready to climb back on top of him, but was halted by his hand on my penis. The contact sent a shiver up my spine and I had to put both of my hands on his shoulders to brace myself while he jacked me off. I bit my lip, and unconsciously began thrusting into his palm. A cry escaped from me as he brought his tongue up my shaft and used it to circle the tip before swallowing me into his mouth.  
“V-Victor…” I moaned.  
There was the sound of a pop as he released me and laid back down against the sheets on his stomach. Looking back over his shoulder so that I could only see his eyes, he whispered to me in a voice that made my throat dry. “I’m all yours, Yuri. Do what you want with me.”  
Swallowing, I crawled back onto the mattress and angled myself above him. Placing my hands on his butt cheeks, I spread them and pressed myself down into him. He was tight, and it felt like trying to move would hurt him too much, but he let out a moan of pleasure and not pain.  
“Yuri…” He breathed, taking a few labored breaths. His voice was barely audible. “Yuri, please move.”  
I did as he said, and slowly pressed deeper into him, earning a whimpering cry. A string of Russian words I didn’t recognize flew out of his mouth and he moved his hips backwards so that I was moving in and out of him. He bit his lip as I sped up my thrusts and wrapped my arms around his chest and shoulders, kissing the back of his neck in that spot that made him quiver.  
“Y-yuri. Yuri! Ah! Ha. Ha. Ka. Ki-kiss me.” He said, turning his head around as far as he could.  
I craned my neck out over his shoulder and placed my tongue into his mouth as he reached around to knot his hand in the back of my hair. Our lips broke away as we let out a simultaneous “Ah!” and both came.  
All tension left his body as he sank limply into the mattress and I paused there above him as still as a statue except for my heaving. After a long moment of nothing but satisfied and exhausted breathing, Victor rolled onto his back and looked up at me, wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling me down for another kiss. This one was just a soft press of lips on lips, but the gentleness of it made my heart swell.  
“Yuri, I love you so much.”  
“I love you, Victor. I want you to always be there beside me.” I knew now why the program had felt wrong, because I had been performing in a role I wasn't familiar with, but now, I could skate like that and know exactly what it was I was doing to make the Eros that had gotten me to first-place.  
"Always, Yuri." Victor smiled and ran a hand through my hair, smoothing it back. “My sheets are all soaked now, I’ll have to sleep with you tonight or else I might catch a cold.”  
I moved back and crossed over to my bed, picking up my boxers as I went and pulling them back on. Victor also retrieved his, as he did sleep in those yet nothing else, before crawling beneath the covers with me. We laid on our sides facing one another, and lazily traced over each other with our fingers until we dozed off. Victor murmured to me before either of us went under.  
“I’m going to stay by you, Yuri. Until the end.”  
I fell asleep with a smile on my face.


	5. Chapter 6: A heart as fragile as Ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to gift this chapter to Versai-Vex. :)  
> Thanks for the comments!

Chapter 6: A heart as fragile as Ice  
“Yuri, you didn’t sleep last night, did you?” Victor asked  
While it was true that I had fallen asleep peacefully. I wound up having a dream that my family had called me after my short program telling me how proud they were, and woken up in the middle of the night full of my usual nerves.  
“No, I totally did… a little anyway…”  
Victor ended up dragging me back to the hotel when I was supposed to be practicing before the free program, stripped me down to my boxers, and threw me in bed with a blindfold so that I could sleep.  
“Nap until the event starts this evening. It’ll be okay, I slept until the last minute before competitions, too.” He laid on top of me, trying to thwart any attempt at escape.  
“Victor, did you set an alarm?!” I panicked after realizing that he had fallen asleep on top of me. The added stress prevented me from resting, and Victor found out, of course.  
“You didn’t take a nap, did you, Yuri?”  
I shook my head vigorously. “No, I did, I did, I did!” I knew he’d punish me somehow if I admitted otherwise, but he wasn’t buying my lie.  
“You aren’t allowed any jumps in your warm-up. That’s an official order from your coach.”  
Damn my inability to lie convincingly, and damn my insubordination…  
“You can land it in competition even if you didn’t during practice, it happens all the time.” He said with a laugh, but I knew he was only trying to make me feel better after I had disobeyed him again.  
“…I’m sorry.” I said.  
“We’ll just keep warming up nice and easy.”  
I couldn’t bear to watch the other skaters, and turned off all of the televisions around the waiting area so I wouldn’t have to. My legs were shaking so badly that I had to sit down while I waited in agony for my turn. Victor came behind me and turned the televisions back on, apologizing to the others who had been watching them and I stood, putting my hands up against the wall, unable to stay still. All I could focus on was the announcer’s voice, and how well everyone else before me was doing. Chris nailed his jump combination, and Victor’s hand came down on my shoulder dragging me off towards the parking garages.  
“Let’s go warm-up someplace else, yeah?”  
Once we were in the stairwell, he put his arm around my shoulders. We ended up standing directly under the rink, so I could still hear the noises from above. Chris had just placed first.  
“Hold on. What was that? What are the current standings?” I felt as if I was moving in every direction but my body wasn’t going anywhere. As if my soul was trapped inside a shell and trying to run away. Victor stood close by and spoke to me reassuringly, but his words didn’t reach me. Phichit went next, and all I could do was stare at the ceiling as the crowd roared.  
Victor’s hands were suddenly clapped over my ears, and when I looked at him, startled, he was wearing a fierce expression on his face. “Don’t listen!”  
But it was no use, I could still hear.  
I couldn’t look him in the eyes with that fierce glare he was giving me, and I placed my hands on his arms, trying to pull them away. “Victor, it’s almost time. Don’t you think we should be getting back? I’m up soon.”  
I began walking but was stopped by Victor’s words.  
“Yuri. It is at least partially my fault if you mess up your program today and don’t make it onto the podium. I’ll take responsibility and resign as your coach.”  
Something inside me froze before falling and shattering into pieces. I felt cold, but something hot spilled out over my cheeks. “Victor… Why would you say something like that, like you’re testing me?!”  
He came towards me with his hands up and a worried expression on his face. “Look, Yuri, I wasn’t being serious. I’m sorry.”  
“I fail a lot, so I’ve gotten pretty used to it over the years, but it’s different now because I’m worried about my mistakes reflecting on you!” I shouted at him. I was so frustrated that I couldn’t hold anything back. “Part of me has secretly been wondering if you want to quit…”  
“I was just saying that, of course I don’t want-”  
“I know!”  
“…I’m not very good with people crying. I don’t know what to say in this situation. Should I just kiss you or something?”  
“No! Just have more faith I’m going to win than I do! And you don’t have to say anything, just stay close to me, Victor!”  
There was a long silence between us before Victor took hold of me and pulled me into a tight embrace, but I was too angry with him for saying such a hurtful thing to return the hug. He pulled away, but kept one hand on my shoulder while the other came up to lift my chin. “Yuri, I told you, I’m not going anywhere. You still don’t trust me enough to know that?” He huffed out a chuckle without humor. “Isn’t it enough that I’ve shown you how devoted I am to you? You still can’t tell when I’m trying to push you out of your comfort zone?”  
I glared down at my feet, pulling my chin out of his hand. He tightened his grip on my shoulder before releasing it and wrapping his arm around me instead. “Let’s go back now, okay?” He looked down at me from the corner of his eye as we walked. “I do have confidence that you can win. That’s why I’m still here.”  
I didn’t speak to him on the way back, and thought about how stupid he was for trying to use reverse psychology on me. I wasn’t an idiot, I knew that I could push myself, but I didn’t gain confidence from being threatened. He offered me a tissue before I went off onto the ice, and I dropped it so that he had to bend over to catch it from falling. When he did, I poked his head where I had previously noticed a bald spot and bopped him on the head so that he knew I was getting back at him, before heading for the center of the rink.  
I was so pissed off at him that my nerves went away during my free program and I didn’t even let my flops keep me down. I didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was getting through it. To everyone’s surprise, including my own, I finished with a quad flip that not even Victor had managed to pull off at the end of one of his programs. Once I finished, I looked to Victor for his reaction, and I couldn’t tell if he was upset or not, but I had to know. I could see him running for the kiss-n-cry and started racing to meet him there, calling out when I was about to reach him.  
“Victor, see that? I did great, right?”  
He gave me an approving smile and nodded once before tackling me with a kiss that sent us both onto the ice. My arms had wrapped around him, and his hand cradled the back of my head as he pulled back to look at me with a mix of pride and love in his eyes. “I wanted to surprise you, more than you’ve surprised me. This was the only thing I could think of.”  
I smiled back up at him, all of my upset forgotten. “Well… it worked.”

Victor and I ended up showering together back at the hotel before sliding our beds up against one another so that we didn’t have to squeeze into a tight space when we decided to sleep side by side. He played with my hair as we spooned and held me with his other arm, relaxing me. Tomorrow morning, we would be leaving for Russia and I would be competing for the Rostelecom cup.  
“I’m sure you’re excited to be going back home after all this time, huh Victor?”  
He nuzzled the back of my neck with a nod. “Mm-hm. It’ll be nice to see Russia again. I wish that the competition were taking place in my hometown, but Moscow is quiet beautiful this time of year also. One of these days I want to show you my apartment. It would be nice to have a place all to ourselves.”  
I chuckled lightly. “We already do, don’t we?”  
“Mm, it’s different when it’s home and there’s no one else around to bother you. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed spending time with your family, but I was constantly worried that somebody might walk in on us.”  
“Yet you kiss me on worldwide television.” I said, grabbing his hand, and nibbling the back of it. “Sorry for getting so emotional today. You really did piss me off though.”  
“It’s alright. I deserved it after the way I treated you. I knew that saying that would make you upset, but I didn’t realize just how much. I just wanted to snap you out of it, that’s all.”  
“Well, it worked.” I turned so that we were facing each other and smiled at him. “From now on, though, just tell me out right when I’m being an idiot, okay?”  
He chuckled, kissing my forehead. “You aren’t an idiot, Yuri. You just can be too stuck in your head sometimes. I’m on your side, so just let me in.”  
I closed my eyes, smiling. “Okay.”


	6. Chapter 7: My Love, My Heart

Chapter 7:   
моя любовь, 私の心 (My Love, My Heart)  
Today was a good day. No nerves, no doubts. I was completely calm and I knew that I would do perfectly in my program tonight. Why? Because unlike before when I had that annoying nagging at the back of my mind telling me that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t worthy of having Victor as my coach or lover, today I knew in my heart that he accepted me regardless of my success or failures. I truly knew that he wouldn’t leave me just because I didn’t have every faith in myself, but I had every faith in him, and I knew that he wouldn’t lie to me ever again.  
I was just about to take the elevator up to our room, when I ran into the other skaters and tried to find my own personal lift so that I could avoid any conversation about myself, while they were preoccupied arguing with one another. That’s when Yurio stuck his foot in the door and glared at me.  
“Why are you sneaking around?”  
Well, I kind of got the feeling he didn’t really care about what was going on with me, so he was safe to talk to. Besides, I have to admit that training together, although hellish, was kind of fun when I had somebody that was training with me. Yurio may have been a grump, but he gave off this indescribable comfort when I talked to him. Like it didn’t even matter what I said, because I was already expecting him to be pissy.  
“Hey, Yurio. Good to see you again.” I genuinely meant it.  
He got into the elevator and punched his floor number in, not talking. I wondered if he was still mad about losing at the hot springs, and it got me thinking about this last competition and the grand prix. I just stood there for a moment, waiting for him to speak first, but when he gave no indication that he would, I finally broke the silence.  
“I know both of us can’t win, but I’m sure we’ll both skate well.” I said.  
He grumbled out his response without looking at me. “Niet. You will suffer a miserable defeat here in Moscow, and then you will go back home and Victor will stay here in Russia.”   
What if… he was right? Oh no, I hadn’t even thought of that. If I didn’t break fourth place here, then I wouldn’t advance to the grand prix final, and if I didn’t, what would Victor do then? There would be no reason for him to coach me anymore, because the season would be over for me, and then he wouldn’t need to come back to Japan when he was already home. I hadn’t even considered what would happen if I did manage to make it to the grand prix, and after it was over…  
Victor had mentioned that he wanted to show me his apartment, and we were together, but did that mean that he wanted me to move in with him? What about my family? I didn’t think I was ready to say goodbye to them just yet. It was true that Makachin and Victor’s things were still at my parent’s house, but he could easily have them flown over…  
My head suddenly felt dizzy from the chaos of unanswered questions launching themselves into the walls of my skull. I needed to speak with Victor, to get this all out in the open air, but he wasn’t up in our room for nearly the entire day, and I had no clue where it was he had run off to; so, I tried to shut out those painful thoughts once again, but just wound up with a headache that I attempted to sleep off with a nap. As I slept, I dreamed that Victor was leaning over me and suddenly kissing me eagerly. Upon waking, I found that it had been no dream.  
Victor was a limp mass piled on top of me, causing me to sweat from his body heat. His breaths were coming out in even sighs as he dozed on top of my chest with his arms pressed up to me in a snuggling embrace, and I didn’t want to wake him. He looked so peaceful and beautiful in the serenity of his dreams, that I felt a smile form on my face and I stroked his hair lovingly. It was hard to imagine life without him now, even though we had been together for such a short time. I checked the clock and saw that the competition was only an hour away, and sighed, gently shaking Victor out of his slumber.  
“You didn’t set an alarm again, did you?” I asked softly as he blinked awake.  
“I meant to, but I didn’t want to disturb you with the noise, so I thought that I’d just wake you when it was getting close. Guess I fell asleep, too, though.” He yawned.  
I pressed my fist against his head, right over the place where his hair was beginning to thin, and gave him a gentle noogie. “What am I going to do with you?”  
“You can do whatever you like, after you show me how well you can do tonight on the ice.”  
I grinned, confidently; taking his hand as he sat up and pulled me up with him. In a low voice, I spoke to him with my eyes half-lidded. “Victor, tonight… I’ll show you my best Eros yet.”  
He nodded with a proud grin. “I know you will, Yuri.” 

As I entered the rink with Victor escorting me, the crowd nearest to us began chanting his name. Of course they were. Victor was amazing, how could they not fall in love with him? He waved to the fans with a giant smile for them all, and I took ahold of his tie and pulled him down so that only he could hear me, but the words I uttered were completely embarrassing none-the-less.   
“The performance has already started, Victor.”   
“I know it has.” He was blushing faintly; I could feel the heat of it on my skin from how close our faces were.  
I wanted to kiss him, but I had to contain myself or else I worried that I would forget everything else and take it too far. No, I would show him what was waiting for him in my program.   
“I’m going to go out there and show my love to the whole of Russia.” I stated before releasing him and taking my position.   
And I did just that.  
“Yuri, that was perfe-” Victor was cut off by Yurio’s presence as he came forward.  
I looked up at him and was surprised by the amount of conviction he showed in his stern brow. He glowered at me with undefeated eyes.  
“Out of my way piggy.” He said, before walking right passed me onto the ice.   
I watched him go with bewildered awe. “Well, I think he’s found his Agape…”   
Victor and I shared a look before remarking with synchronized enthusiasm. “Finally!”  
I called out to Yurio from the kiss-n-cry after Victor insisted upon kissing my skate as a sign of his pride and a promise to me that he had something planned for later. I blushed while I waved to Yurio, and Victor waved as well, both of us wishing him good luck, but the conviction he had on his face turned to pure anger instead. Was it… because of us?  
Of course, Yurio had wanted Victor to coach him as well, and I had more or less stolen him away. The thought turned my good mood sour, and Victor immediately picked up on it.  
“Huh? Yuri, what is it, what’s wrong?”  
“Well, it’s just that… You promised to be Yurio’s coach as well, and you’ve only been coaching me… I’m wondering if maybe he’s still upset over it, even if you did have us compete to see who you would coach. In the end… maybe he still sees it as you braking your promise to him.”  
Victor frowned, turning silent. All good cheer from before vanished. “You think that I treated him unfairly, then?”  
“Not exactly, but maybe he does. After all, the both of you trained under Yaakov together, and you kind of went out of your way to come to Japan to coach me. I don’t even know who you promised first… He’s probably really infuriated with us because of the whole situation… don’t you think?”  
He looked down at his feet, while behind us, Yurio was already skating his program. I watched as he fumbled and saw the rigidness of his movements, yet the fire he was producing was one of determination and hard work. He had been doing his best to make Victor proud this entire time, just as I had, but he didn’t have Victor to pat him on the back at the end of it. He really was an admirable athlete.   
And then to top off the emotional roller coaster of the night, my sister called saying that Makachin was in critical condition at the vet, and all the memories of how I hadn’t been there for my dog when he’d died came flooding back to me like a crushing wave.  
“Victor! You need to get back to Japan! I can handle the free skate tomorrow on my own.”  
“Just calm down a minute, Yuri. What’s going on?”  
“It’s Maka. He’s at the vet, and Mari says that… he might not make it. So, you have to go be with him now. I’ll be fine.”  
“Yuri, I can’t, you need a coach in order to skate.” Victor’s voice was filled with a tugging sadness. The kind that happens when there are too many things on your plate at once for you to swallow and you don’t know what to do. I was all too familiar with that feeling, but it was worse to regret not being able to do something when you still had control over the situation.  
“You know you have to go back!”  
“I already told you, I can’t.” He placed his hand over his face, before Yurio passed us, as if he were completely back to his old self.   
“What’s up with them?” He muttered to Yaakov, who was standing beside him.  
Victor snapped his attention to his old coach and began walking towards him. “Yaakov! That’s it, thank God. I’m so glad you’re here, you are the coach for me.”  
“What’s this? Crawling back already?”   
“It will just be for tomorrow, for one day only, will you be Yuri’s coach?”   
Wait, what?!  
Before I could ask Victor why he thought I needed Yaakov to coach me, he was already scrambling up the elevator and to our room to gather his things. I went to the lobby to wait for him and he stopped only briefly to say goodbye.  
“Ask Yaakov if you don’t understand something or you need help. If you’re in trouble, just hug him and he’ll be there for you.” Victor said, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug that told me he didn’t want to leave me. “I’m sorry, Yuri. I know I won’t be here, but I’ll be with you in spirit.”  
I hugged him back before he got in the taxi for the airport, and I was left with Yaakov as my coach.

After watching how well Yurio did, I began to feel a little nauseous and my vision blurred as I took my position on the ice. All I could think about was how far Victor had gotten me, and that I couldn’t let all of that hard work be for nothing. I popped my first jump and felt the anxiety take over. No! I couldn’t let my nerves kick in now when I was so close… Whether or not Victor was there, it was difficult regardless. I just had to keep it simple. The program was me, and no one else could skate it the way I could. Victor and I had made this program together and I loved it; just as much as I loved him. I wasn’t finished yet, and I wouldn’t be until I won the gold with Victor!  
Yaakov gave me a lecture at the kiss-n-cry and we listened as I was placed in third. I had cut it so close, and JJ still had his free skate to go before the final scores were announced, but I still felt the overwhelming need to hug Yaakov for his efforts in being my temporary coach. The realization that the next event was the grand prix final hit me like a ton of bricks and I suddenly felt the need to hug everyone, because it was almost over and this would probably be my last time seeing all of them together.   
I was so close to the end of my competitive figure skating career that I wanted the gold metal even more. Even if I didn’t win, I would still have Victor step down as my coach after the grand prix final. This whole time I had been listening to everyone telling me how I had stolen away Victor, and taken him away from his own skating. I knew that if I continued to skate, then he would continue to coach me, and I couldn’t do that to him. I wouldn’t let him throw away his talent on me when he was a genius and I had barely made it into fourth place thanks to my second-place win at the cup of China. I already knew the odds were stacked against me, but I was determined to get that gold for Victor.  
Then after I told him that…  
My thoughts were interrupted by Yurio who had come up beside me on the street and kicked me out of nowhere.  
“There you are, pork-cutlet bowl. I’ve been looking all over for you.”  
“Uh, hey Yurio.”  
“What was with all that hugging earlier? Stop creeping me out! And your free skate was pathetic! You get to make the excuse that you didn’t do your best because Victor wasn’t there, but I was in top form out there and earned a new personal best. Only to lose to JJ again.” He made a disgusted face. “You have no right to be more pissed off then me right now, okay!”  
I was about to say, ‘okay’ before he threw a paper sac at me filled with something that smelled delicious.   
“It’s for you, it’s almost your birthday, right?”  
I opened the bag to find it filled with Peroshkis. Victor had bought some for me as soon as we’d landed and I knew that they were as delicious as they smelled.  
“Eat.”  
“What, right now?”  
“Yes, now!”  
I took a bite to find that it tasted just like a pork-cutlet bowl but with some Russian flare. “Wait, is this?”  
“Yeah! My grandpa made them himself, aren’t they great?” Yurio asked, beaming with a smile I had never seen before.   
I couldn’t help but smile back. “Yeah, there kusno!”

After Yurio and I returned to the hotel, I got a text from Victor saying that he was waiting for me at the airport but nothing else. I prepared myself for the worse, but was relieved to see Makachin bounding towards me across the tiles. Looking up at the glass partition, I saw Victor waiting on the other side and started running for the door to meet him. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but I didn’t know where to start. I threw my arms around him as soon as the barrier between us was gone and he wrapped me in his tight embrace.   
“Yuri, I’ve been thinking about how I should move forward… as your coach.”  
“Yeah, so have I...” I pulled away from him to look him the eyes, prepared to say what I meant, but I was too scared to think of the future, that only part of it came out. “Victor, will you… be my coach… until I retire?”  
He stared at me for a few moments before answering, taking my hand, and planting a single kiss there. “That sounded like a marriage proposal.”   
My heart skipped a beat before I smiled at him and hugged him once more.  
“In that case,” he said, “I hope you never retire.”  
I could feel that shattering pain again, and I knew that I had to tell him my intentions, but I just couldn’t right then. All I wanted was to hold him like that for as long as I could. Tears had begun spilling out of my eyes and all I could do was just that.  
“Let’s win gold together at the grand prix final.” I said.


	7. Chapter 8: What’s round, gold, and signifies my devotion to you?

Chapter 8: What’s round, gold, and signifies my devotion to you?  
Love’s changed me, I was stronger now, and I’d prove it at the Grand Prix final with a gold medal. Yeah…  
But everyone else was doing so well, and I had gotten here on luck and because of Victor. Victor… Where was he? I needed him right now.  
I heard talking out in the hallway before the door to our hotel room was thrown open and there stood Victor in his swimsuit with Chris behind him in a robe.   
“Yuri! I’m freezing, will you draw me a hot bath? I can’t feel my toes!”  
“Oh, and while you’re at it, how about some coffee?” Chris added.  
“You are still asleep?” Victor said.  
I was still laying on the bed when the both of them pounced on top of me with their freezing bodies. Only the two of them would be crazy enough to go swimming in the middle of December.   
“Geez! You two are like human ice-cycles! Get off of me, both of you, I’m not your heating pad!”

Practice was short the next morning, and the entire time I was still thinking about how to tell Victor my plans for retiring. I couldn’t get past my nerves, and I figured that if I got some fresh air it might help to clear my head.  
“What should we do with the rest of the day? You should probably take it easy. Get a good night’s sleep before the short program tomorrow.” Victor said while I removed my skates.  
“Don’t you go turning into a model coach on me now. This is my first time in Barcelona. Take me sight-seeing.” I said.  
Victor smirked at my sass. “Your wish is my command.”

By that afternoon, I felt as if we had walked around the entire city twice. Victor wound up buying a ton of food and other souvenirs for me and himself, insisting that they were all meant to be birthday gifts. It got me thinking about his birthday, and I wanted to get him something too. A thank you to him for all he had done for me as a coach, and something that would be a symbol of the connection we had made. I was so lost in thought of what would be ideal for that purpose, that I ended up getting swept off my feet by Victor when he insisted that he was going to buy me a new suit. It wasn’t until later that I realized we were missing a bag.  
We looked up and down the streets until it got dark looking for the bag, and I finally told Victor that I would just buy another one for him, but he shook his head.  
“Don’t worry about it Yuri, I’m sure the shop is probably closed by now. Let’s go, you’re tired, right?”   
I was tired, but I wasn’t ready to go back just yet. I had resolved myself to come right out and tell him once we were back in the room, and that was one of the reasons I had wanted to stay out as long as possible. The dread came creeping up on me again, and I snapped at him.  
“Why are you just assuming that I’m tired?”   
“Fine, then I’m tired.”   
We began walking back to the hotel through a Christmas market and I tried to go slow. I had wanted to find a gift for him before we got back, but looking for the lost bag had taken up so much time that most of the shops were closed now. I tried stalling by talking.  
“Your birthday’s coming up, it’s on Christmas day, isn’t it? I’ll get you a gift while we’re here.”  
“In Russia, we don’t celebrate before the actual day, and we don’t really celebrate Christmas, not like other countries.” He said, matter-of-factly.  
“Oh, okay…”   
“Would you like to try my hot wine?”  
“No, I don’t like to drink before a competition.”  
“Oh right, I forgot.”   
We continued to walk in silence for a short time before I caught sight of a jewelry store. I stared at the different charm bracelets and rings in the display window, and then I got the perfect idea. I rushed toward the store and pressed my hands up against the glass, scanning for a matching set. The store was still open, so I dragged Victor inside with me and surveyed the selection inside as well.   
I always wanted to have a lucky charm. Yeah, that’s what it was, a lucky charm to help me do well in the final, and… a gift for Victor to thank him for all his help. Not only that, but a symbol of my love. The rings matched, so they showed that we were connected as coach and student, as friends, as partners…  
There was a church near-by where carolers were singing, but the area behind them was open and free of people. I wanted to give him the ring where we could be alone, but before we got back to the hotel. Guiding him over to the steps of the church, I set down our bags and pulled out the rings.  
“Victor, give me your hand.”  
He held it out to me, and I slipped off his glove. Taking his hand in mine, I slid the tiny gold trinket onto his right ring finger, and continued to hold it while I spoke with a shaking voice.  
“Thank you, Victor, for everything you’ve done. I-I wanted to get you something, and this was the best thing I could think of. Anyway, I’ll do my best from tomorrow on. So…” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I just wanted him to be there always, but I knew that I couldn’t ask that of him, so I just quavered out in a small voice, “T-tell me something.”  
He paused, as I stood there like a statue with my face red and hands at my side, and then took my hand and spoke to me gently and lovingly. “Okay, I’ll tell you something that you won’t even have to think about.” He pulled the remaining ring out of my hand and slipped it onto my finger, just as I had to him. “Tomorrow, skate in a way that’s true to yourself. Show me a program that makes you proud. There’s only one way to a gold medal that I know, and that’s it.”  
I felt so happy in that moment, that the rest of the world seemed to slip away and I wrapped my arms around Victor in a tight hug before reaching up to kiss him. Retiring, the Grand Prix, it all melted away for that small instant and I felt an overwhelming sense of joy. Victor kept an arm wrapped around me, and I put mine around him as we walked down the street.   
“I’m getting hungry.” I said after a while.   
“Let’s go grab something to eat.”   
We were on our way past some restaurants when I spotted a familiar pair gawking at something through a window.   
“Looks like Miniko and Mari are already here. What are you two doing?” My family was flying in to watch the Grand Prix in person, but I hadn’t been expecting to see them until tomorrow.  
The both of them charged at me and took me by the arms with a hunger in their eyes that was unmistakably fangirling, before making their demands. “Yuri, we need a huge favor!”  
Turns out they had been gawking at Yurio and Otabek who had been having dinner, and the girls demanded that Victor and I ask to join them with the two of them as our guests. Chris and Phichit ended up getting invited to come along too, with a phone call from Victor. So, we all ended up awkwardly sitting there while my sister and ballet teacher wept in the glow of beautiful men.  
“Way to play it cool you guys.” I said.  
“Why do we all have to eat together?!” Yurio grumbled.  
“This is kind of weird, huh? All of us hanging out before the competition. It’s a lot different from last year. I was always on my own then; at the banquet, too. I didn’t even have the courage to talk to Victor.”  
Victor spewed the beer he had been drinking and turned to me with disbelief. “Are you seriously telling me you don’t remember?”  
“Huh?” I had no clue what he was talking about.  
Chris explained. “At the banquet you got wasted on champagne and started dancing. Everyone was watching.”   
I gasped in horror.  
“It was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen! I got dragged into a dance off, it was humiliating.” Yurio said.  
“A dance off!? You’re kidding! Say you’re kidding!”   
“It’s true. I danced with a pole and got naked. Well, mostly.” Chris said.  
I felt like I would die right then and there from the embarrassment. Something always happened when I drank. I’d go off the rails just like my dad did, and things could get crazy. I tried not to have too much…  
“I still have videos if you want to see.” Victor said, holding up his phone.  
A pterodactyl screech sounded from behind my hands as I covered my mouth.   
“Me too, but they’re not for the faint of heart.” Chris said, showing his phone to Phichit.  
“Are you serious? Yuri that’s so dirty!”   
“Yeah, we’re gonna have to see that.” The girls said.  
“Oh no, don’t look I’m begging you, please! Leave me my dignity!” I said flailing my hands at them.   
Chris stared at my hand for a moment before glancing at Victor and resting his chin in his hand with a sly look on his face. “So, what’s with the rings you boys are wearing?”  
“Huh? Since when do you wear jewelry?” Mari asked.  
I covered my hand instinctively trying to hide what had already been seen. “Um… I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I tried.  
Then Victor had to pipe up, flashing his own ring. “And look, they match.”  
Phichit stared with his child-like eyes and his mouth formed into an ‘O’ shape before he began clapping. “Congratulations on your marriage!”  
“What, no, wait!” I begged, but it was too late.  
Phichit got up from his chair and cried out to the whole restaurant. “Hey, everybody! My good friend here just got married! Whoo-hoo!”   
All of the restaurant applauded and I flailed my arms again, trying to explain. “No, it’s a good luck charm, really! A thank you!”   
Everyone looked at us with shock, especially Yurio who was shaking visibly with his mouth agape. Otabek clapped along with Phichit, while Chris grinned like a fox and Miniko and Mari just stared with dumbfounded looks.   
Victor piped-up again, not helping the situation at all. “Yes, you’ve got it wrong. This is actually an engagement ring. We’ll get married when he wins the gold medal, right Yuri?”  
“Um, what did you just say?” I couldn’t believe that he had just nonchalantly come out and said that, especially when we hadn’t even discussed marriage before. Besides that, I got the feeling that everyone was giving me death stares, and I slowly turned to look at my fellow competitors who were indeed watching me with conviction in their eyes.   
“A gold medal, huh?” They said.  
Before I could say anything resembling and explanation, J.J. barged in with his loud voice out of nowhere, “You’re kidding me right?! I’ll be the one winning gold and getting married. I hate to break it to you guys. Sorry I can’t congratulate you, guess the wedding’s off!”   
We all cleared out, having already paid, and left J.J. and his fiancée behind without a word. He had a way of pissing everybody off with his ego. 

“Whew, well that was quite the day.” I said once we were back in our room. “Thanks for showing me the sights, Vict-”  
I was cut off by his lips against mine, and in a series of quick motions, he had locked the door and moved us to the beds without breaking away from me.   
“Vi-mm” I tried to say but he slipped his tongue into my mouth and I tangled my hands into his hair, wanting more.   
It didn’t last long, but we fell asleep in each other’s arms. In the morning, I was alone again, with a note from Victor on the nightstand, telling me to rest before my short program. I still felt exhausted, so I put on my pajamas and went back to sleep. I knew that I should have stopped him and told him what I needed to say, but I couldn’t let go of him just yet. I knew he’d be upset, and feel like I was betraying him. At least, that’s how I had felt when he’d said he was resigning as my coach. That had been for my benefit, and this was no different in my mind. I had to let Victor go…


	8. Chapter 9: Grand Finale

Chapter 9: The Grand Finale   
This was it. The last chapter to the eight months I had spent with Victor as my coach. It didn’t seem real, yet here I was in the rink performing my last short program of the season, with only my free program left to go. Victor took hold of my beringed hand in his and kissed it.   
“Here I go.” I said to him, before taking my place in the center of the rink.   
I kissed my ring once more for luck, and put my all into this last performance of Eros. The last…  
A hand touched down in my quad-flip while I was rotating. Dammit! There should have been enough rotations, though… No! I had wanted to make the last one count!  
I slumped to the ice, berating myself over and over. The least I could have done was a flawless performance, and now it was too late. Victor… I’m sorry…  
He sat beside me with a hand on my shoulder, but I was too ashamed to look up at him. It felt as if I was hurting him more, by not giving him a perfect score. Even with a 97.8, I wasn’t going to advance up the ranks unless one of the other skaters got a lower score, and that was impossible with the amount of talent I was up against.  
Or so I thought.  
Surprisingly, J.J. ended up with a score of 86.71. I was in fourth…  
It felt like I was walking through a surreal dream. My head was light, and my thoughts felt heavy. Victor had gone ahead of me to the hotel to shower while I talked to Mari and Miniko and thanked Phichit for his congratulations on my advancement. Before Victor had taken off, I’d let him know that I needed to talk to him back at the hotel. This was it…  
I sat on the edge of my bed looking through my phone at everyone’s news feed, and continued to do so even after Victor came out of the bathroom in a robe and sat across from me on the window ledge.   
“That’s interesting. It looks like Minako’s at a bar with Chelastino.”  
“Wow. We’d better stay away from that place.” Victor said with humor in his voice. “Well, anyway, what’s up? You said you wanted to talk, so?”  
“Right…” I clenched my fists on my thighs and swallowed. “After the final, let’s end this.”   
“What?” His voice was barely above a whisper.   
I felt my heart clench. “You’ve already done more than enough for me, more than I could have dreamed, my final season was my best one yet. It was because of you…” I bowed my head to him. “Thank you for everything, so much. Thank you… for being my coach.”  
I didn’t want to thank him for our relationship, that just seemed silly. Besides, even if he wasn’t going to be my coach anymore, we could still be together, couldn’t we…?  
I was staring at Victor’s feet, and noticed as wet droplets fell onto his ankle. Looking back up at him, I was surprised to see tears spilling from his long eyelashes.  
“Victor?”   
“Damn.” He said, blinking. “That’s disappointing. I didn’t expect something like this from you of all people. Something so selfish.”  
“Selfish or not, it’s my decision. I’m retiring.”   
A visible shudder went over him as he exhaled, and I reached up to brush his bangs out of his eyes.  
“Yes, Yuri? What are you looking at?” He said.   
Even with tears streaming down his face, he still looked beautifully handsome. His eyes had become more blue with the redness from crying.  
“I-I’m just surprised to see you cry.”  
“I’m mad, okay! What should I do?” He smacked away my hand as he said it.  
“You’re the one who said it was only until the Grand Prix Final.”  
“I thought you’d eventually decide that you wanted my help for longer than that.”  
“It’s okay. You don’t need to worry about me. This way you can make your come ba-”   
“Stop! I don’t want to hear it! How can you tell me to return to the ice when you’re retiring?!” He grabbed my shoulder and glared at me with hurt in his eyes.  
I’d tried to prepare myself for this moment, but now that it was happening, I just wanted to take it away. I wanted to go back to that first night we had spent together. The beginning… not the end.  
He released me and pushed his beringed hand into his hair, clenching his eyes shut. “Does… does this mean you want to break things up between us as well?”   
“No, I want to do what’s best for you! You’ve helped me get this far, and I never expected to make it all the way to the end, but you’re an amazing coach Victor. Your talent shouldn’t be wasted on someone like me, who only made it because of you!”  
A crooked grin formed on his face, somewhere between a smile and a frown. “I take back what I said before, you are an idiot, Yuri. I only gave you advice and helped you strengthen your weak points. You made it through because of your own determination.” He leaned forward, putting his forehead against mine. “When are you going to see that you aren’t weak, Yuri?”   
I froze for a moment before wrapping my arms around him in a tight embrace. “Victor, I want you to do what makes you happy. For me, just being with you is enough.”  
He returned the embrace with shaking arms. After a moment, he pulled away from me and looked me in the eyes. “Fine. Do what you want. I won’t stop you. If you really want to quit skating, then go ahead. Whatever your final decision is, I’ll stick by you, because I love you, Yuri.” He held up his ring hand and smiled. “I wasn’t lying about us getting married when you win a gold medal. Regardless of whether or not I remain your coach, I want to be with you for the rest of our lives, because you are the person who makes me the happiest.”   
“Victor…”  
He got to his feet and walked over to his bed, getting under the covers with his back towards me. “Good night, Yuri.”  
I sighed. “Good night, Victor.”

Neither of us slept well, and there were no words exchanged as we prepared for the day. The last skate with Victor as my coach was about to begin.  
I stood on the ice with my eyes cast towards it and Victor standing on the other side of the barrier, the distance between us seeming far greater.   
“Don’t worry, you can win the gold, just skate your best.” Victor’s words were kind, but he was in coach mode. His hand touched mine. “Believe in yourself.”  
“Hey, Victor.” I said without looking at him. “I told you before… all I want is for you to be who you are. So, don’t suddenly try to start sounding like a coach now.”   
The words were cold, but I clasped his hand in mine and added with a kinder voice. “I want to smile for my last time on the ice.”  
His face came closer to mine, as if trying to share a secret even though we were both already out of ear-shot of everyone else. “Yuri, listen to me. I debated whether I should say this to you now, but… I took a break after becoming a five-time world champion to train you, so how is it possible that you still haven’t won a gold medal?”   
There was venom in his words, but I understood what he was trying to say. I had been putting all of my success on him, but it really was me doing everything I could to excel. Victor wouldn’t settle for anything but gold, and he had been helping me to see that I could win it too, with or without his help.  
“How much longer are you going to stay in warm-up mode?” He asked, his eyes glistening with emotion. Reaching around with his arms, he pulled me into a hug. “I really want to kiss that gold medal…”   
He pulled away to look me in the eyes, and I saw the words he wanted to say in his own blue spheres. A wave of pure joy flooded over me and I held onto him with shaking arms. His own arms were equally quivering.   
I started my program, the last of my career as a men’s-single figure skater, and astonished not only the audience, but myself, by not only raising the difficulty of my jumps, but landing each of them.   
Do you realize it now, Victor? I don’t want it to end here, I want to skate with you forever!   
Flawless.  
I did it. For you Victor.   
With my finishing pose, my hand reached out for Victor, and I could see him standing with his hand over his heart. I threw my hands up in the air. I did it! I had given Victor the performance he deserved. I had proven my love. But was it enough for the judges?  
My score broke Victor’s record. I was so shocked that my jaw nearly hit the floor. Victor held out his hand to me and I took it, before he pulled me into a congratulatory hug.   
“Congratulations, Yuri. Now both Yuri’s have beaten my world records. That is the ultimate compliment as your choreographer and coach, but the ultimate affront as your fellow competitor.”  
“Wait! You mean… You’re coming back!”   
He smiled at me and I knew that it was a yes. “And what about you? Still planning on retiring? I must say, that would be rather disappointing when you’ve progressed so far from last year, only to quit. Of course, that is still up to you.”  
I smirked at him. “I told you already that I planned to make my final decision after the Grand Prix. You’ll just have to wait and see when it’s all over.”  
He returned the smirk. “If you’ll excuse me then, I’m going to go find Yaakov. I think that he’ll be happy to hear his star pupil is coming back.” 

Yurio ended up receiving the gold medal, after a well-deserved score, and I followed closely behind in second. I held up the silver pendant to Victor with a sideways smile.  
“Well, it’s not a gold medal, but…”   
“That’s nice, but I’m not going to kiss your medal unless it’s gold. Sorry.” Victor said. “Oh, I was really looking forward to kissing that gold medal. How can I ever recover from my failure as a coach? You wouldn’t have any suggestions would you, Yuri?”  
He had backed me into a corner with me leaning so far away from him that I was almost doing a backflip into the rink.   
“Something that might excite me? Well, anything come to mind?” He whispered.  
I felt a chill go up my spine, and I pounced back at him sending us both to the ground as I hugged him. “Victor! I want to stay in competition with you for one more year, and this time I’m going to win gold!”  
His eyes grew wide and glistened with tears of joy. “Perfect! Well, almost.”   
“Huh?”  
“Heh. Even for me it’s not going to be easy to make a full come back while staying on as your coach. In exchange, I expect five world championships, at the very least.”  
I felt hot tears, as I clutched my silver medal in my hand atop the person I loved most in this world. “’Kay.” I said.

Victor and I continued skating together as a pairs skate team after that, as well as working towards our own goals in the single skate competition. It was quite some time before I won gold, but eventually we made it happen. We had a ceremony both in Hasetsu and St. Petersburg, each one with many friends and family to wish us well. Not every competition ended with a medal, but it didn't matter as long as we both put our heart into it.  
Win or lose, we called everything on the ice love.


	9. Epilogue: Summer Honeymoon

Epilogue: Summer Honeymoon  
“Victor! Are you done packing?” I called, towing my suitcase with me.   
He was sitting on the edge of our bed with a pair of speedo swim trunks held up between his hands.   
“Chris gave us matching pairs of these as a wedding gift, what do you think, should we pack them?” He said stretching the racy swim wear for emphasis.   
“Uh… How about we save those for when Chris is actually swimming with us?”  
Victor chuckled. “Too bad, I would have liked to see you sporting these on the beach.”   
I made an apprehensive noise before crossing over to him. “It’s almost time to go, we should hurry to the airport if we want to catch our plane.”   
“I’m coming. I just wanted to take in the room for a moment longer. It’s funny how much I actually start to miss home now that you’re here, but since you and Makachin are coming with me, I don’t see any reason to miss this place.”  
“Don’t you get homesick?”  
“Not really for this house, just for St. Petersburg. I grew up here, but I haven’t been to my childhood home since my parents passed away. Since I’m an only child, things feel pretty lonely with no one to come home to.”  
“Well, first thing when we get back, I’m going to help change that.”  
He smiled. “Yuri, you really are the one person that can always make me happy.”

We landed in Hasetsu the next morning with my family waiting to greet us. They had prepared a private ceremony at the hot springs, since Victor and I had already held a public one in Russia. Despite having already attended the public ceremony, Phichit and Yurio were flying down to attend the hot spring wedding as well.   
To my dismay, Victor, my dad, and I had all gotten slobbering drunk afterwards and there had been witnesses with phones. Yurio regaled me with his disgust, and Phichit mysteriously lost his phone until the following evening when he left back to Thailand. Yurio wouldn’t be going home until the next week, so Victor and I wound up with him as our chaperone while we went out. It was actually a lot of fun having him there.  
But I did enjoy when Victor and I were finally left alone.  
“Yuri, come sit down and let me comb your hair.” Victor said once we were back in my old room that had already been stripped of everything but the bed.   
I complied and sat in the chair in front of Victor as he brushed my hair back in hypnotic strokes. “I think it’s time we visited a barber. Soon your hair won’t be able to stay out of your face.”  
“You’re one to talk.” I said, twisting to push his bangs behind his ear, before he leaned down to kiss me.  
“Mm. Victor.”  
“Yuri…”  
“It’s hard to believe that not so long ago we were meeting for the first time, and now were married… Funny how much can change in such a short time.”   
He put the comb down and sat across from me on the bed. Even though the mattress was only meant for one person, we’d managed to fit the both of us in snuggly. “Yuri, do you want to stay here? Be closer to your family and friends? If that’s what you want, then I’ll be happy to move here. We don’t have to go back to Russia unless you want to.”  
“Victor, where did that come from all of a sudden? I thought we already talked about this. We agreed that I’d live with you in St. Petersburg and come visit my family during the holidays and such. What made you change your mind?”  
“Watching you with your parents, and friends… I’ve never had many people in my life that I’ve gotten close to, but you, Yuri, you have people who love you and miss you when you’re not there. I don’t want to take you away from them. No matter how much I want you all to myself, I can’t be that selfish.”  
I paused for a moment, looking at Victor’s furrowed brow and icy blue eyes. Getting to my feet, I crossed over to him and took his face in my hands, angling his head up to meet my gaze. Before I said anything, I was pressing my lips against his in a soft and content kiss. My tongue found entrance into his mouth and I breathed heavily every time our lips parted, before mashing back together. Little by little I had backed him onto the bed, until he was laying completely against the mattress. Hands fought against buttons and zippers until we both had worked ourselves out of our clothes and I laid on the covers with Victor clutching onto me for dear life. The look on his face was one of pure need, and I knew that mine matched.  
“Victor, wherever we are, as long as we’re together, that’s our home.” I said, kissing his forehead before placing mine against his.   
“Yuri.” His voice was quiet, but happy. Reaching up to place his hands on my face, he kissed me hard and I returned it with a tug at his hips. He made a noise of complaint before breaking his lips away from mine. “Hey, it’s my turn.” He purred.   
I stroked his abdomen and felt as his skin shuddered. “We’ve got all night, how about two for me and two for you?”   
He pouted, making me chuckle. “Fine.” I pecked his lips, biting the lower one gently as I pulled away. “Then I get to lead the next skate.”   
“Deal.”  
I allowed myself to be rolled over by him, before Victor pulled me into his lap and I sat up so that our bodies were parallel to one another. He pressed inside of me and I sighed out a moan.   
We stayed in Hasetsu for a month, deciding that our original plan worked best. After all, it was better to have our own place to ourselves. As promised, Victor let me lead the skate, and afterwards as well. My family came to visit and we went back over and over. Yurio and the others were always visiting as well, and soon Victor started feeling attached to the house, but the truth is that we lived from rink to rink. Love, family, and the ice… as long as we had each other and that, we were always home.  
❤ THE END ❤


End file.
